Let's go old all the way

The draft U.S. Supreme Court opinion revoking Roe v. Wade would return regulation of abortion to the states.

The draft’s author, Associate Justice Samuel Alito, also spills ink seeking to establish historical roots for abortion as a criminal offense.

Alito invokes legal treatises back to the 13^th century. He writes: “The inescapable conclusion is that a right to abortion is not deeply rooted in the Nation’s history and traditions.”

That got us thinking. If old is the standard, then let’s go old all the way.

We’ll leave slavery alone. Same for limiting voting to rich white men. Alito may pine for his misty, musty past, but even he probably also recognizes there are limits to retrograde nostalgia. So…

We could restore powdered wigs for men and whalebone corsets for women. Ban all contraceptives except lambskin condoms. Bring back outhouses, which with “behind yonder tree” served humanity for millennia. And dump air conditioning (the Constitution doesn’t mention it, so not a right, right?).

Let’s re-introduce these “deeply rooted” historical traditions first at courthouses. Judges should have to eat their own gruel.