I’m sore at science, and here’s why.
In seventh grade, I came into conflict with a classmate. The cause is lost in memory’s shadows. The year was 1973, and the shadows are darker today. But I remember the result.
The classmate, “Tom,” was shorter than I, but tougher. He commanded that we meet after school – to settle things.
A bolder lad would have said “buzz off.” A smarter lad might have stood him up.
We fixed our rendezvous for the Catholic church’s small, graveled parking lot next to the school. Once there, Tom blustered. I cowered. Then…
Pow. He hit my fuzz-less face. It stung.
Tom and I never scrapped again. Nine years later, I grew a beard. I still have it.
So now comes a new study suggesting humans may have evolved beards to protect from punches to the face. The study, published in the journal Integrative Organismal Biology, concluded that bearded surfaces absorb 37% more punch energy.
Information I needed in 1973!
Science cost me extra sting. Tom surely would have agreed to delay our rendezvous – until today.
