As a COVID-19 shut-in, I’ve tried to maintain routine and discipline. You know, awake at the usual time, bathe, shave, trim the beard, leave for work as before.

Of course, the morning commute these days is a trek to the home office, not a vehicular gladiator match.

I’ve mostly succeeded, although with some slippage. Another 10 minutes in bed will harm nothing. Piffle, shaving every second day is good enough. You get the idea.

Daily baths continue. You’re welcome.

But now comes a quandary. I suspect many others face it too.

I need a haircut.

That little sentence doesn’t fully capture my emotions on this topic. I’ll try again.

I NEED A HAIRCUT NOW!!!!

So, a decision approaches: buzzcut or ponytail.

Both options have about as much appeal as eating cold instant grits.

I could execute a buzzcut myself. But yuck. I recoil when imagining my head buzzed.

A ponytail would inflict hair-in-the-face floppiness until grown. And, with my thinning fur up top, might the tail be pitiful?

There’s a third option. Dome top.

No.

No!

I’ll let you know.