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Coffee for brains

The U.S. Agriculture Department recognizes five food groups: fruits, vegetables, grains, proteins and dairy.

The USDA is wrong. Every sensible person knows that only two food groups matter. Peanut M&M’s. And coffee. All other foods, even if tasty and filling, are superfluous.

So I reacted with curiosity on seeing this headline: “Caffeine consumption found to alter brain structure.” Coffee surely would get credit for improving our brains.

Not so.

The article described a placebo-controlled study that “found daily caffeine consumption can significantly reduce the volume of gray matter in the human brain.”

Turns out the brain really has gray matter, along with white matter. Caffeine shrinks the gray stuff.

Unfortunately, the article wasn’t a clickbaity internet come-on. It was a serious account, published by a serious outfit.

Galumph, harrumph.

But there’s hope, coffee lovers. Search online for “is coffee bad for you?” The query returns 52.2 million results. Then search for “is coffee good for you?” You’ll get 131 million!

Take that, placebo-controlled study. The internet is always right. My gray matter has survived a three-cups-a-day habit. Pour another cup.


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4 Comments

  1. Steve Fehr Steve Fehr

    What is your favorite brand/flavor?

    • I prefer dark roasts, no milk or sugar. I now usually drink a Louisiana brand, Community Coffee, available at CC’s storefronts like Starbucks but also for sale as ground coffee in grocery stories. I love CC’s dark roast and brew it at home. Also available online. https://www.communitycoffee.com/

  2. Susan Caldwell Susan Caldwell

    Community Dark Roast for the win! And yes, as someone about to make the third cup of the day, I too prefer relying on the obvious wisdom of the internet as opposed to, like, science and doctors and stuff. Thanks for the validation!

    • You’re welcome, Susan and fellow dark roast fan!

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