Press "Enter" to skip to content

Cue villain music

I don’t know how many peanut M&M’s I’ve crunched in decades of peanut M&M crunching. A hundred thousand seems possible.

We’ll get to the math. First, know this: the same peanut M&M’s that I once described in writing as “ambrosia for human mortals” have betrayed me.

Cue foreboding music.

Now the math. I buy M&M’s in 42-ounce bags, so I googled “how many peanut m&m’s in 42-ounce bag?” The answer: “500 to 510 pieces.” I figured – conservatively – that I’ve consumed 200 bags. Multiplication yielded 100,000 individual candies.

Cue frilly music.

And now comes betrayal.

Last month, after eating lunch in my office, I snagged a palmful of peanut M&M’s from my specially built M&M dispenser. It sits just out of reach so I must stand and walk – a mostly ineffective hindrance to overindulgence. I chomped a few.

I then tossed a single blue M&M into my mouth, pressed it to one side and – crushed it. But instead of the gentle crackle I’d experienced 99,999 times before, I felt … c-r-a-c-k!

Cue villain music.

Said the dentist: that molar must out.


Count on 30-Second Read for useful info

We'll come to you!

Sign up to receive an email when each new 30-Second Read is published.

Check spam folder for confirmation email.

3 Comments

  1. Nancy Grush Nancy Grush

    My molar fell victim to an almond.

    Jeff, did you intentionally omit the word, “come” in front of “out” in the last sentence?

    • Yep. When you’re permitted 180 words, some gotta go.

  2. Steve Fehr Steve Fehr

    Same! I treat myself to a bag at Christmas and a six pack of holiday Anchor Steam. I eat and drink it all by myself. Bonus if there’s a hockey game on at the same time. The blue ones taste the best. 😂

Comments are closed.