My wife recommended today’s column topic. She’ll regret doing so.
The topic is Peeps, those squishy blobs of marshmallowy glop coated in brightly colored sugar. You’ve seen them. They tarnish drug store shelves every year before Easter.
No Peep has crossed my lips in decades. Just thinking about Peeps makes my teeth ache. Writing about them now is a saccharin sacrifice.
Read that last paragraph closely. That’s me, in this time of national disunity, reaching for the most temperate language possible.
We address this topic today not solely because Lent approaches and Peeps are culturally synonymous with Lent.
Peeps were gone. Our pandemic prompted the candy’s maker to cease production in April. Wednesday, the company announced Peeps’ return. And thus did a blessing for humanity crash into a dentist’s dream.
“Peeps are back and better than ever!” said a Peeps brand manager.
Better than double yuck? Maybe. But still yuck.
And get this. The Peeps company is Just Born Quality Confections, a name that throbs with accidental irony.
My wife loves Peeps. But rest easy. She has good qualities, too.
Home run with this one. I’m with you on the Peeps! But the thought of watching someone eat 200 of them is a little more than I can take, so I’ll pass, thanks.
Thank you, Darlene.