‘I will pray for your misguided soul’

My recent tribute to pineapple pizza and critique of my spouse’s fondness for artichoke pizza landed like a turd on a wedding cake.

Only one of the many readers who responded agreed that pineapple is a pizza blessing. I nominate Stan in Ohio for a Nobel Prize. Stan, I’ll see you in Oslo.

The rest of you bums make me fear for the future of the human experiment. But as y’all appear to (temporarily) hold the dominant view, I relinquish today’s remaining space to one among you. Here’s Bill in Louisiana:

“My dear friend Jeff….

“Fruit has no place on pizza. If it did, we’d have blueberry pizza or apple, peach, blackberry. Get the picture?

“On the other hand, vegetables do belong. See onion, jalapeno, sweet pepper, mushroom…. Get the picture?

“I will pray for your misguided soul. It’s not too late to repent and lead a normal productive life.

“And, finally, also important in a long marriage is crust style. Thin, hand-tossed or thick differences can lead to marital woes.

“I remain your thin crust, sausage and mushroom friend.”