Authority is synonymous with a leader’s title. But leaders who lead first or always with their boss card are paper bullies.

Influence more often is a winning quality, stiffened only occasionally by displays of authority. Leaders build influence through:

Competence. Can they do the job? Subordinates always know, yes or no. Always.

Listening. Leaders understand the limits of their knowledge. Their first words often are questions, delivered without judgment as invitations to speak. They know listening empowers individuals and unleashes group potential.

Communication. They accept as their highest purpose to define the big goals while building a culture that minimizes obstacles to achieving them. They communicate clearly, consistently and often.

Accountability. They own a group’s stumbles and especially their own. They never say, “I am not responsible for anything.” They sometimes utter the two most powerful words in the English language, “I’m sorry.”

Humility. They behave in ways that signal they serve the group, rather than being served. They share credit for successes. They never put themselves first.

Bottom line? Leaders are strongest when they don’t try to look strong.