Seen on Facebook (where else?):
Q: If someone gave you $200 “because you’re ugly,” would you take the money?
A: Absolutely. I’m ugly, not stupid.
A: I’d demand $400. That’s how ugly I am.
A: At least they spelled “you’re” correctly.
Life used to be simple. In eighth grade, for instance, no one would have taken the money.
That’s when the surly boys mumbled “skag” in the back of science class. Girls always carried our books in front of us, to deter rude titillations (“It’s what’s up front that counts,” Pete informed me as we bent over our Bunsen burners).
It wasn’t just us. In her first year at the University of Texas, Janis Joplin was voted “Ugliest Man on Campus.” She dropped out.
She also showed them. We’re still listening to her music.
Maybe she helped. Maybe grunge did. Maybe just growing up.
Now I certainly don’t care if anyone thinks I’m ugly. I’m happy to be too old to get rated or hooted at on the street. I’ve grown Janis Joplin hair.
Come on, send me the money.
