The baseball managers peer from their dugouts. Mr. Red, scowling, tweets manically when not shouting. Mr. Blue paces, patting batters’ rumps as they jog in or out.
The seventh game of the 2020 World Series is underway, in Philadelphia, between the Mar-a-Lago Elephants and the Scranton Donkeys. The winning team’s manager will move into the grandest white house in the land. Red lives there now.
A rapt and weary nation watches.
Red’s Elephants scored two runs in the bottom of the eighth inning to bring the score to 3-2. But Scranton leads, and Blue’s Donkeys are at bat.
“Play ball!” the umpire yells.
“Go get ’em, tiger,” Blue says through his mask to a batter.
“Wait!” Red yells, maskless. His spittle flecks the air.
The umpire eyes the Elephant dugout.
“W-h-a-a-a-a-a-t?” he says, exasperated.
“STOP THE GAME!”
“Why?” The umpire is puzzled.
“Stop, I say. I’m ahead. I get the white house.”
“You’re behind. We play every inning.”
“But I won the eighth inning. I wanna, wanna win! Stop playing!”
“Every. Inning.”
The umpire turns away, head shaking.
“P-l-a-a-a-a-a-y b-a-l-l!”
