Our courts give so much clarity, even on topics we didn’t know needed clearing up.
Take an Indiana judge’s recent decision. He ruled in a zoning dispute that tacos and burritos are sandwiches.
Holy mustard and refried beans. Thank you, judge.
Or the Nebraska Supreme Court ruling years ago in a defendant’s search warrant challenge. The court said night starts when … patience, you’ll like this … darkness comes.
Holy sweet dreams. Thank you, justices.
So, we started thinking (because 30-Second Read is big on big thoughts): what else could the courts clarify?
And we have ideas.
Judges, could y’all please:
- Rule that $1 bills are equivalent to $100 bills? They are more alike – physically – than tacos and pastrami-on-rye sandwiches.
- Declare peanut M&M’s nutritionally equivalent to frozen peas? They are similarly shaped.
- Establish that a fraternity party after any college football game can act in place of Congress? They aren’t so different. Partiers couldn’t possibly do less or act with any less decorum. Right?
We have loads more ideas, your honors. But these will get you started. You’re the best!
More about courts and the law
A condescending, gloating taunt
Have you read the Constitution?
This is a scream, Jeff! You nailed their idiocy. Total congress of apes.