My new friend

Good morning. My name is Bi Partisan. I’m here to help.

Sir! Yes, you, the gentleman from Kentucky. Please stay. I need only 30 seconds. Thanks.

I know I’m unpopular, like the high-school math dork you noticed only to ignore. But like that kid, I have merit.

Here’s the thing. I can assist if you want to do something – like enact laws to fix problems and help people.

Can we start by ditching our red or blue team jerseys? Just for today, so we can talk?

Ma’am! The representative from New York. The eye-rolling is rude. Thanks.

O…K! A good start.

Now some bigger asks.

You’ve gotta stop making social media engagements your success metric. You do know that world is phony, right? It’s a miasma of crazed, faux outrage – and of normal people gone temporarily mad.

You also must relinquish perfection. With me, you’ll achieve half or three-quarters of something rather than tweet-screaming while getting nothing.

And the biggest ask. You’ll have to say something difficult to your overwhelmingly blue or red constituents:

“Meet my new friend, Bi Partisan.”