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Chipmunk détente

A recent essay here addressed chipmunks’ theft of fruit from my tomato plant. I called the resulting conflict over my tomatoes the “Battle of Weedy Gulch.”

Then came readers.

Emily in Louisiana emailed a link to a blog post at Evolution News & Science Today. Its alarming title: “In Terror of Chipmunks.”

Even more alarming was that the text ran to 3,715 words.

More alarming still was that I understood perhaps 100 words.

The article was a scathing retort from one evolutionary biologist to another in an academic dispute whose substance this lay reader couldn’t comprehend.

I almost pitied the chipmunks.

Then came a text message from Neil in Wisconsin with, I learned, dark thoughts about chipmunks.

“Cute rats,” he wrote. “Chipmunks are the devil acting like your friend.”

Neil recommended a brand and model of lethal trap called “Mr. Snappy.” He then detailed his 2019 tally in the Battle of Wisconsin. The chipmunks lost that one. Epically.

I pitied the chipmunks.

Clarification: When I initially wrote “battle,” I meant “negotiation.” I’ll settle for chipmunk détente, even a Gauger defeat.


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2 Comments

  1. Carrie Kent Carrie Kent

    I love the Chippies! We have chipmunks in our yard that come up on the front porch, climb on top of the wicker settee and watch *us* through the large front window.

    We have a mutual admiration society formed. We’ve named them: Henrietta, Ethyl, Gladys, Abner and George. We have no idea who is who.

    Thanks for sharing the words, and, especially, the great video!!

    • Ah, sweet. I never thought to name ours. I don’t even know how many they are, because of course as an clod-headed human I can’t tell them apart.

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