I’d been ordered to appear at 8:45 a.m. Monday for jury duty. I arrived four minutes early and joined other jurors waiting to check in.
We each held an 81/2-by-51/2-inch card in warning-cone orange with “Official Jury Summons” printed in three places.
When my turn came, I stepped to a clerk’s window.
“You’ll have to see her,” the clerk said in a flat tone, pointing to the only other clerk.
I’d seen no other jurors instructed to appear at both windows.
“She told me to speak to you,” I said. “Am I in trouble?”
“Yes,” the second clerk said. “You wore shorts.”
“Shorts aren’t allowed?”
“No.”
“Where was that information?”
She took my summons card, turned it over and pointed to two sentences in eight-point type: “No shorts, tank tops, or flip flops allowed. NO EXCEPTIONS.”
I’d missed that. Obviously.
I spoke again.
I shouldn’t have.
“Would Their Honors be offended by seeing my legs?”
“Sir,” she said, “you’ll have to go home, put on long pants and return. If you don’t, I’ll issue a bench warrant for your arrest.”
Scofflaw. You can’t play golf without a appropriate golf shirt, either. Leg quality is not a factor. Can you imagine the debate from Twelve Angry Men carried out by a bunch of knobby-kneed guys in shorts? Lee J. Cobb probably never wore shorts in his life. Also reminds me of the grade-school chant: “Order in the court. The Judge has lost his shorts.” I’m not sure in retrospect what that was supposed to convey.
“Twelve Angry Men in Shorts” doesn’t have the same energy. But … neither does “Twelve Angry Men in Long Pants.”
Hi, Jeff! I think that is an all-court-wide rule. I’ve been making occasional appearances to Probate Court in recent years, and they have the same rule. But unlike you, I read that fine print, so I was never sent home to change.
The rule likely stems from the government’s desire for people to show respect and dignity for The Rule Of Law. Also, shorts could be a major distraction for some.
I’m glad they let you off with a warning!
Yes, I’m sure you’re right, Carrie. And I lived into every stereotype about men failing to read instructions. In my (limp) defense, it’s summer in south Louisiana. The temperature was 85 and headed to the low 90s.
So good to hear from you again, Jeff! I wonder if you’d have been cautioned if you’d have shaved your legs.