Duke Ellington’s “Black and Tan Fantasy” refers to the meeting of races at the Cotton Club, the legendary Harlem dance hall, where his band resided from 1927 for five years.
Ellington strongly supported integration but was pessimistic about its fulfillment. That pessimism applies to the meeting of species, too.
I’ve written here about my oath to see Pirate, my blind, shaggy, tuxedoed 17-year-old feline, out of the darkness and into whatever light awaits.
I held him as death, in the form of our veterinarian, stalked closer. The life still within him preyed on my conscience. At the end, he still purred.
Perhaps my decision was untimely. Although he was old, sick and sightless, guilt clawed me because my motivation had become economic. In the six weeks previous, I spent more than $1,400 on drugs and treatments. My resources were gone.
Like segregation, I relegated Pirate’s natural life span into something less because I had the power to do so. My empty wallet imposed death on my boon companion.
Ellington used music to oppose such flagrant abuses. I can only keen.
The Author and Pirate
Timeshares. Until they leave us
Our ancient barn-cat-turned-city-cat seemed in good health, if thinning a bit with old age (about 14). Great cat. On July 4, she lay down and didn’t want to get up. Rush trip to emergency vet. Probably heart problems. Treatment in the thousands with no guarantees. So she had to go. Her ashes now share space with three dogs, one of whom she coesisted and another who she sort ofr eplaced. RIP
I’m certain Pirate is enjoying seeing other cats in Heaven today.
I’m so sorry, Thomas. It’s excruciating to let them go, but also the greatest gift of love we can give them. My beloved Marmalade was so sick w/ a very aggressive bone cancer that he could no longer eat or purr when I touched him. When the vet gave him the first shot, he began purring and nestling into the crook of my elbow. That was Marmalade’s parting gift of love to me, and I cherish that to this day. I send you my deepest condolences.
I am also keening and send my deep sympathy. You stayed with Pirate no matter what. He knew it then and knows it now. Be gentle with yourself.