Where was my driveway? Epic layers of ice withstood my valiant assaults. Mountains of crusty, unnavigable snow had inundated everything else. I parked the car by the side door to avoid falling.
But retrieving my newspaper from the lower section of the driveway was dangerous.
A curling match on TV inspired me to act. I waddled outside in my Michelin Man costume armed with a carpet remnant and a broom (making sure that no smart-aleck pedestrians were lurking) and got in the car.
The paper lay down there, daring me to try. I backed the car over the approximate location, spread the carpet and carefully stepped out.
I fished under the car with my broom until I saw the paper sail up the driveway. Good shot!
I pulled the car up, grabbed the paper and then parked again by the side door, safe and sound.
Why not read the newspaper online? No way! Concocting another cockamamie scheme to avoid computer technology gave me a smug sense of accomplishment and a new winter sport.
Come winter, I wield my wicked broom.
Seasons at 30-Second Read
A cockamamie scheme for winter
It’s hot. It ‘feels like’ hotter
