2 billion Peeps is a lot of Peeps

Today is Valentine’s Day, so (duh!) we’ll take up that travesty of human invention and aching tummies called Peeps.

Why the connection to the holiday for love? Because Mardi Gras is only a week away, and then Lent, which portends Easter, which by all that is unholy melts good sense into a gooey love affair with Peeps.

Blech!

This year is bittersweet for Peeps fans, because the Pennsylvania confectioner who popularized the marshmallowy treats died in January.

Bob Born didn’t invent Peeps, as some headlines suggested. But he did engineer the equipment that permitted mass production of the sugary turds … uh, sorry … treats. The company now makes 2 billion a year.

Ick.

I dunno why, but people eat Peeps. They eat ’em fresh out of the package. They let the blobs grow stale and crusty – and then eat ’em.

They even put ’em on pizza. No kidding. (People! Pineapple, not Peeps, belongs on pizza.)

Other uses make sense. Chemical experiments. Dioramas and jewelry made of Peeps bunnies and chicks.

But for eating? That’s what peanut M&M’s are for.