Press "Enter" to skip to content

‘Eat me now!’ the M&M’s squeal

I have a love-love relationship with peanut M&M’s. I’d prefer an indifferent-indifferent relationship.

Yes, I love peanut M&M’s.

How to measure my love? In 38-ounce party bags, which is how I usually get the crunchy, sweet spurts of joy. I love peanut M&M’s that much.

Party bags can tempt me into overindulgence. Or – more accurate – scream like a toddler clasping a kitten while clamped in the jaws of a hungry grizzly bear just out of hibernation.

“Save me!” the child shrieks.

“Eat me now!” the M&M’s squeal.

I’m on to this confession today because I slipped. After a long, pandemic-induced hiatus from sweet temptation, I succumbed to weakness. I indulged. A lot.

I keep an M&M dispenser in my university office – mostly to welcome students for conversation about their work. The pandemic ended that practice because the campus was mostly empty.

Then, recently, a student gave me an M&M party bag. I filled the dispenser. And started chomping. I write now with a sugar buzz.

So, bless the student who gave me M&M’s. And darn her.

For I am weak.


Gauger’s life with peanut M&M’s

Cue the villain music

The key to the Sound of Bliss

A jughead indulges


Listen to the sound of bliss

We'll come to you!

Sign up to receive an email when each new 30-Second Read is published.

Check spam folder for confirmation email.