Speed bumps of irritation

Think of an artifact of daily life that irritates. It grates only in dribs but delivers those drabs so often that the cumulative impact is a towering heap of human torment.

Hint: Double the torment you’re imagining. Then double it twice more.

“Of course!” you’re thinking now.

Apple stickers.

The little scabs are a curse.

Try removing one quickly. Nope.

Lift an edge without a fingernail gouging the fruit. Never been done.

Perhaps you’ve heard the stickers are edible. Look it up. Do not eat them.

Other inventions cause harm, but they often also offer benefits. Think cars, social media, power plants, wine, M&Ms.

Apples’ “product-lookup code” stickers, as they’re officially known, may help the grocery supply chain. But consumers get nothing except speed bumps of irritation between fruit and mouth.

Try this reasonable thought exercise: Bundle all the foul language spoken in a single day worldwide. Apportion it by cause. You’ll conclude, as I have, that the source of most of the world’s “damns” and “craps” and all other profane and vulgar utterances is …

The #@$%^ apple sticker.