Fresh from watching this year’s Cat Video Festival, I am left with a burning question.
Since when have young men become cat ladies?
Again and again, videos showed cats leaping, stalking, clawing and being judgmental. As is their wont.
In the past – most of human history – cats have been workers, protecting us from rodents. Their rewards have been wet and dry food, catnip and the companionship of loving women.
Cat ladies have been independent writers and heroic sleuths.
But some two-thirds of the festival videos showed cats cuddled by dudes! Young white men with well-cropped black beards. Those pale furry-facers caressed the cats – who, knowing where their food comes from, pretended to like it.
In their hearts of hearts, though, they wanted to be with cat ladies, purring, in rocking chairs.
Obviously yet another patriarchal fraud is being foisted on the American public. It’s the campaign to make young white men the stars of cat loving.
This power grab needs to be exposed. And so, backed by the mighty resources of 30SecondRead.com, I have brought you yet another Great Truth.
Hahaha!