Refuse to recuse

Here is the text of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Samantha Trollito’s letter to senators who demanded that she recuse from cases stemming from the 2020 election. The senators had alleged that flag tattoos on her husband, Marcus-Dan Trollito, had betrayed the justice’s non-judicial bias.

Dear Senators:

This is in response to your request that I recuse from any cases related to the 2020 presidential election or the January 6th attack on the Capitol.

You asserted in your letter that two incidents involving the temporary exposure of flag tattoos on my husband’s buttocks created an appearance of impropriety requiring recusal.

I had nothing whatsoever to do with the tattoos on my husband’s butt. I was not even aware they were on his butt.

My husband is fond of butt-cheek tattoos. I am not. He was solely responsible for the tattoos on his buns and has added many over the years.

My husband owns his fanny and therefore has the legal right to use his fanny as he sees fit.

My husband is an independently minded private citizen. He makes his own decisions, and I honor his right to do so.

I am confident that reasonable people who are not motivated by politics or ideology would conclude that his ass tats do not require my recusal. I reject your request.

Neener neener,

Samantha A. Trollito Jr.