The instrument of friction with cord neatly wound as the universe expects.Photo by Jeff Gauger
Domestic disCord
By Jeff Gauger on May 10, 2024
If you cohabitate, you’ve smacked into the frictions that mark any relationship.
We’ve addressed many before. Where to set the thermostat (cool, of course). When to make the bed (never). When to wake, early or late (early). Pineapple on pizza (yes). Peeps or peanut M&M’s (M&M’s).
Based on 30-Second Read’s sample size – one couple – the correct answers seem obvious. Still, these conflicts are manageable, each just small enough to merit only a wince.
But this week brought a relationship cocklebur we hadn’t anticipated. It crashed into Bungalow Bliss like Peeps onto a Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza.
Here’s what happened:
He grabbed the vacuum and hose to suck a bug off a wall. Task done, He stooped to wind the cord around the purpose-built pegs on the vacuum’s side.
“There are two kinds of people,” She said.
“How’s that?” He asked, hardly listening.
“People who wind vacuum cords. And those who don’t.”
He was listening now.
“And which are you?” He asked, still winding.
“Team Never Wind,” She said smugly.
“Team Never Wind?!” He exclaimed. “Who the hell are you?”
My practice: Never make bed except when changing sheets once a week; never put pineapple on pizza; never eat Peeps or M&M’s (peanut butter? Barf!; NEVER VACUUM. Dust mop and Swiffer. Or, when I have $, pay someone to do the cleaning.
Never wind the cord. Never make the bed. Never Neverland.
You’re one for two, Steve.
My practice: Never make bed except when changing sheets once a week; never put pineapple on pizza; never eat Peeps or M&M’s (peanut butter? Barf!; NEVER VACUUM. Dust mop and Swiffer. Or, when I have $, pay someone to do the cleaning.
Nice read. Life changing video. Thanks.