‘Has she had a silicone hump job?’

Associated Press writer Isabel Debre offered a quintessential holiday story: 40,000 of the Arabic world’s most beautiful female camels gathered for the Al Dhafra Festival.

Not that male camels aren’t beautiful, too. They just can’t stop fighting long enough to compete. “My hump is bigger.” “No, mine!” “You only have one!”

Picture those girls vying for points for longest, slimmest neck, broadest cheeks, largest hooves, droopiest lips, and tallest, most graceful posture.

Winning breeders get trophies. Winning camels are crowned with gold and silver-lined shawls.

Wait, scandal lurks! Some camel owners cheat.

“Have her lips been Botoxed?”

“I bet she took muscle relaxers to get that face.”

“Has she had a silicone hump job?”

X-rays and sonar catch the cheaters and result in elimination. But when trophies come with up to $13,600, and the most beautiful camel fetches bride prices of up to $66 million, can we blame breeders for wanting to give their lovelies every advantage?

Can’t travel to the United Arab Emirates? Follow young, male “camel influencers,” who film and pose with the beauties, broadcasting live on Instagram.