These executive orders look fun. And no, no, no, not their content, which mostly induces dry heaves.
I mean what fun to play boss and bully beyond a bully’s authority.
I want some of that fun!
So, I have issued these executive orders using my new authority as Chief Guy in Charge of Everything Everywhere Always:
Residents of my city must bow when greeting me – in my neighborhood and workplace, stores, offices, restaurants, everywhere.
All houses on my residential street must be painted yellow.
Motorists who drive past my house must pay $200.
Traffic lights must stay or turn green as I approach.
Commercial airline flights must be on time – always.
Dirty dishes must heft themselves into the dishwasher and later into a cupboard or drawer.
All clouds must form into the shapes of sailboats on Tuesdays, lightbulbs on Fridays and unicorns on Sundays.
My wife must bring breakfast to me in bed every morning and genuflect when leaving.
A good day’s work, methinks. And so much fun that I’ll have more executive orders daily. You’ll like ’em.
Trust me.
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I like some of your thinking, but I wouldn’t be looking for the geisha treatment with your breakfast.
Yeah, that ain’t happening, Steve. Not a chance.
As per your executive order, my liege, bowing and scraping come naturally, so I will be providing virtual, vegan, veritable breakfasts, then silently withdraw to my chambers for the few hours I am allotted. No thanks necessary, of course.
Ah, Darlene. You captured the spirit of this caper perfectly.