Almost every middle-aged man wears a goatee. Whenever “senior” status or related disfunctions loom, older chins sprout.
Sure, lots of younger guys have goats, too. But those on the older fellows offer no clue to original hair color. Their facial constructs – clipped, groomed and usually over-stroked – always range from peppered silver to blinding white.
There are advantages to wearing goats, of course: Weak chins covered up. Meager jawlines strengthened. Turkey-waddle necks hidden.
Most importantly, your self-image is improved by hairy distraction.
During my early 10 years in the Air Force, I couldn’t adorn myself with facial hair. Once out, however, I grew a luxurious beard. It came in the same lustrous, dark brown as my then-full head of hair. The beard didn’t last long. I felt myself untidy, even skanky.
It wasn’t until my forehead soared and a monk’s tonsure appeared that I cultivated a goatee. It came in a patchy, grayish brown and faded as time elapsed. Now it’s shining silver like, uh, a snow fox. My goat makes me feel youthful and attractive.
Regrettably, not to anyone else.
Thomas, you read that right! Not a fan of goatees–they read as sinister, edgy–to these eyes.