Research for any piece of writing can turn up surprises.
In an earlier essay, “Sober Ain’t Better,” I quoted actor Humphrey Bogart’s last words: “I never should have switched from scotch to martinis.”
Yet my research turned up other booze-oriented outgoing declarations I want to share. For example, distiller Jack Daniel’s last words were, “One last drink, please.” Actress Tallulah Bankhead’s was less pedantic: “Bourbon.”
Poet Dylan Thomas, as expected, ranged farther: “I’ve had 18 straight whiskeys, I think that’s a record. After 39 years, that’s all I’ve done.” Earlier, he’d immortally defined “alcoholic” as “someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.”
Russian writer Anton Chekhov’s last words were “It’s a long time since I drank champagne,” while psychoanalyst Carl Jung’s were “Let’s have a really good wine tonight.”
But enough good cheer.
Two-time murderer Neville Heath, when offered a drink before being hung, replied: “You might make that a double.”
But the most poignant farewell, presumably untied to alcohol consumption, came from Mars rover Opportunity in 2018:
“My battery is low and it’s getting dark.”
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