Mark this moment. Gauger, the blather master, is fumbling – for a word to express “isn’t it interesting that,” uttered with feigned surprise and the faintest hint of a question.
Can you blame him? The topic is sex in airplane lavatories.
The “isn’t it interesting” point is not that a couple was caught, speaking euphemistically, joining the mile high club over Europe. A flight attendant interrupted the couple mid you-know-what. Other passengers cheered.
No, it’s that this single act of human sex – out of (conservatively) hundreds of millions that day globally – has been reported in (conservatively) hundreds of news stories.
“Couple busted having sex in plane toilet,” said an Australian news website’s headline.
From a British rag: “Couple caught on camera ‘having sex in easyJet toilet’ as flight attendant despairs.”
Sex isn’t surprising. Nor is our interest in public sex. Humans love sex. They love gossipy tales about sex. An airplane toilet tryst is candy for human curiosity. Because sex!
And lavatory sex sure beats that other recent and oh-so-popular airline story: diarrhea in the clouds.
Now help. What’s that word?
I need to know the dimensions of most jet lavatories. Everything time I am in one I rule out stories about people having sex in them. It’s not physically possible. Size matters.
Yes! Size DOES matter.