Cranks and Crazies

A tall tale rooted in a whole heap of truth.

The Rouge and Bleu families lived on opposite sides of a country road in homes filled with laughter.

Then one day, cranky Uncle Barney moved into the Rouge household. Thereafter, he spent most days beside the road drinking beer. When cars turned into the Bleu drive, Barney gestured crudely and waved a sign declaring “Bleus are scum.”

The Rouges normally wouldn’t have tolerated such antics. But Barney was family. What could they do?

Soon, crazy Cousin Gladys joined the Bleus. Most days, she sat across the road from Uncle Barney blaring music from a boom box. When Rouge cars approached, she flashed butt cheeks painted with “Kiss” and “This.”

What could the Bleus do? Gladys was family.

In both homes, the laughter stopped. Rouges and Bleus talked unceasingly about their neighbors.

“We’re righteous except for cranky Barney,” the Rouges said. “Why are all Bleus crazy?”

“We’re virtuous except for crazy Gladys,” the Bleus said. “Why are all Rouges cranky?”

And that’s how it started, from assuming the worst about all neighbors. It’s called the Feud of the Cranks and Crazies.