There are times in human affairs when the hard thing must be said. Today is one of those times.
Twisty ties are irritating and should be banned.
I’ve mounted this soapbox for good reason. A twisty tie attacked me.
True crime report: I’d grabbed a bag of corn chips from the pantry. A twisty crimped the bag’s neck, blocking me like a sniveling sentry. Bravely, I moved to untwist the wire. But, as often happens, I twisted the wrong way, fumbled, reversed my twisting and so on until …
“Ouch!”
The tie’s wire had jabbed a finger.
After I snacked, I looked to seal the bag. Foolishly, I’d left the twisty on a counter. My wife pointed to it.
“Nope,” I said, scouting for a plastic clip. “I hate twisty ties.”
She, of course, does not.
She collects them!
In a kitchen drawer.
People, twisty ties should not be collected. Or used.
I gestured haughtily toward her secret twisty hoard.
“I’ll use them,” she said, a tad defensively. “I’ll really, really use them.”
I know.
And now you see my problem.
More of Life’s Irritations
Irritations in the quest for unobtanium
A fixidiot succeeds, with difficulty
I celebrate my detestment — is that a word? — of twisty ties every morning when I open the bread. I also hate those little plastic grabby hooks that some manufacturers use. I just want the bread to be OK, like it always was when I was a child and before twisty ties had been invennted. And, FWIW, Liz’s reuse aside — I’ve had my time in my human experience — aren’t they a bio-hazard, using precious resources for ill-conceived purposes? If I were really creative, I’d rewrite Chubby Checker’s lyrics:
Come on and don’t twist
Yeah, baby, let’s ban the twist
Ooh yeah, just like this
Let’s ban the twist.
Let’s find a new thing and go like this.
E-yah
Thank you, Steve, for your support. “Ban the Twist!”
100% with you on those evil ties. I also hate the flat plastic ones–ban them to the trash can as soon as I ply them–with much difficulty–off. Then I use what the Divine meant for keeping bags closed: clothespins. Much easier.
Ban the Twist!