Belly Button Math

I don’t remember exactly, but I’m guessing I was old enough and tall enough by age 6 to both bathe myself and see my belly button in a bathroom mirror.

So, after precision calculating, I can report I’ve seen my belly button 21,827 times.

I got on to this important topic after seeing a scary headline, “I Just Learned Why I Have An ‘Innie’ Belly Button, And I’m Horrified.”

It linked to a 2025 medical study about innies and outies with an even scarier title. Translation: I didn’t understand it.

One common tale about belly buttons is that how umbilical cords are snipped at birth determines the navel’s shape.

Not so, according to the study, for which researchers probed five cadavers. Their finding: a previously undiscovered body part – “a vertically oriented cylindrical fibrous structure” – gives your belly either dimple or bump.

This news is shocking. How, after gobmillions of dissections and scans, are we still finding body parts?

For the record, since you’re wondering, my belly button is a proper lint catcher. Or, as on 90% of humans, an innie.