I gave up the theater last week.
It’s not like I’m in demand as an actor, director or playwright, if ever I was. I’m simply too old, untalented and egocentric to any longer accept repeated audition failures.
I never was very good. Other interests, including family, the military and journalism, dissuaded me from the commitment and training needed.
And it’s not just acting. It’s even attending productions. I know just enough to be self-destructive. Instead of simply enjoying a play, I over-analyze actor movements, stage decor, lighting and sound designs, and overall direction. My eyes track the weakest performers and their flaccid background “business.”
More often than not, I leave at intermission, particularly during musicals. Caught up in my critiques, I no longer find joy. Festering ambition has lost its grip.
Eremitism is the act of gradually fading from the lives of others due to a desire for solitude or renewal, like a monk.
So, after taking part in almost 40 productions over the years, mostly as an actor, I’m leaving the theater world adrift.
Sadly, I will be, too.
A quiet, poignant reflection on letting go– honest, self-aware, and steeped in the loneliness of fading passions. Thanks Thomas!