I’ve done some figuring based on 43 years of office work and – with adjustments for vacations, holidays and visits to ballparks and taverns – I can confidently say I’ve peed in urinals 17,888 times.
Admit it. You’re thinking, “What’s this loon yabbering about?”
Science.
A new paper in the journal of the National Academy of Sciences details the consequence of bad urinal design and crummy aim.
It’s splashback.
That’s the pee droplets that bounce from porcelain to floor – a cumulative 1 million liters a day from 56 million U.S. urinals, the authors assert.
The problem is the pee stream’s angle. A bad angle equals more droplets and more mess.
Dogs instinctively achieve a low-splash angle when raising a leg to tree, the paper suggests. It then notes what everyone already knew. Men lack this helpful instinct.
The researchers’ solution? Urinals engineered to contain splashback. The paper recommends two new designs called the “Cornucopia” and “Nautilus.”
There’s another solution, of course. Men must learn from dogs, urinals must resemble trees, and boys must practice on trees before they’re released into public restrooms.
METHODOLOGY
The author calculated his lifetime urinal pee sessions as follows:
4 (office days per week) x 2 (work pees per day) x 52 (weeks per year) x 43 (years in offices) = 17,888
The calculation assumes four days per week in the office to account for vacations and holidays and for pees in public restrooms other than at work. The resulting figure, 17,888, is roughly as accurate as urinal researchers’ assertion that U.S. men splatter 1 million liters per day of their pee on restroom floors. And the formula looks spiffy.
More Lavatory Tales
Walter, the dopes are still at it
I love that sketch!!
So, I guess the motto would be: Don’t aim high!
The research paper details the exactly perfect angle, but I didn’t get into that because, well, why?
Reading this made me feel like I had to go to the bathroom.
Hahaha!